Improv Stats (RPG all)

This is where improv comes in. I’m sure I don’t need to describe improv to you. The basic point is this: you need to have just enough random facts at your disposal that you can deploy them as necessary in a yes, and situation. If this becomes a crime scene, you need to have some stats for cops. If this becomes a fight, you need some stats for mooks, monsters, what have you. If this becomes a criminal conspiracy, you need some criminals, and so on.  

The great thing about these improv stats is, you don’t need them for one scenario. You need them for all scenarios. Which means you can re-use them as needed. 

Money Heist

It’s not often you see an armored car taken out by bank robbers armed with anti-tank weapons. 

A while back I mentioned Improv Stats. What does that look like? 

In any game, no matter the setting or system, there is some kind of law enforcement. Someone represents The Man. In some games the players fill that role (hello Mutant City Blues, didn’t see you there) but in most cases the police are potential antagonists, or at least complications to a scene.  

I’m going to use Night’s Black Agents in this example, but this could apply to any system or setting. 

Night’s Black Agents, the spy v vampire thriller espionage RPG, does provide stats for police, dogs, vehicles and weaponry. A quick cut and paste makes an easy cheat sheet for those moments when it’s all gone a bit Pete Tong and you have to run a combat or a chase on the fly. A few extra cut and pastes make more cheat sheets for chase complications (is the street busy? Narrow? Is that a busload of nuns?). Is that what I meant by improv stats? 

Not exactly. 

Don’t get me wrong; I loves me some cheat sheets. They have saved my bacon more times than I care to count. But when I mentioned Improv Stats I was talking about how a potential actor in a scene might Act or React. 

Think of it like this: 

When someone Acts, they take the initiative. In this case, they do a thing that complicates the scene. 

When someone Reacts, they take the back seat. Because you complicated the scene, they had to do something.  

I deliberately chose that scene from Spanish crime thriller Money Heist because the Heist writers are very good at sketching in characters who they use again and again.  Colonel Luis Tamayo (Fernando Cayo) from the clip is a case in point; he barely appears in the early seasons, then shows up as the main police antagonist in the remaining seasons. Meanwhile his predecessor Colonel Alfonso Prieto (Juan Fernández Mejías) features heavily in the early seasons but still shows up in the later ones as the man you love to hate. You know who these people are the minute they walk on screen, and what they’re likely to do.  

There’s a quote that has been attributed to several different people and which may be apocryphal, about German officers and their qualities. It goes like this: 

I divide my officers into four classes as follows: the clever, the industrious, the lazy, and the stupid. Each officer always possesses two of these qualities. Those who are clever and industrious I appoint to the General Staff. Use can under certain circumstances be made of those who are stupid and lazy. The man who is clever and lazy qualifies for the highest leadership posts. He has the requisite and the mental clarity for difficult decisions. But whoever is stupid and industrious must be got rid of, for he is too dangerous. 

Once upon a time I talked about things to steal from D&D, and I’m going to add another thing to steal: the social map, in which non-combat encounters with NPCs are affected by whether or not that NPC is Hostile, Indifferent or Friendly.

Zee Bashew

With those two things in mind, Improv Stats: in which everyone can be classified as Clever, Industrious, Lazy, or Stupid, with the qualifier Hostile, Indifferent or Friendly.

Physical stats – how strong they are, how charismatic, what pools they may have in Scuffling and similar, all are irrelevant to Improv Stats. Those are things that might affect player versus NPC tests – combat tests, effectively – and that’s not what Improv Stats are about. Improv Stats are about giving you, the (Director/DM/What-have-you) something on which to base your portrayal of the NPC in question.  

Let’s say the policeman is Friendly, Stupid and Industrious. In any given encounter with your players, that’s what this policeman is like. These three qualities ought to give you enough to portray the NPC in any given situation. It doesn’t matter if the policeman is also, say, bald, or gangly, or wears an ill-fitting uniform. That kind of thing isn’t useful. It might lend a bit of spice, but that’s all.  

With those qualities, you have Inspector Clouseau. That’s exactly what he is: friendly, stupid, industrious. If he were friendly, clever and industrious he'd be Inspector Zenigata. Either one can Act, or React, depending on those characteristics. What happens next can be developed in play.

You don’t need a character sheet for this or a spread of stats, or potential pool spends. That kind of thing is helpful but not critical to your portrayal. But if you know he’s friendly, stupid and industrious then you have a rough idea of what this particular policeman will do in any given situation.  

You can add more to Improv Stats, of course. It might be great to have a picture, or a list of potential names, a standard equipment list. But you don’t need any of those things. All you need is a brief description, with that list of qualifiers giving you the bare bones of the character. 

Let’s say that this is a heist, and your players are walking out of the bank in the dead of night with their arms full. Bags of cash. Swag. The getaway car is just a few steps away.  

Into the scene walks Friendly, Stupid, and Industrious, either Acting or Reacting.  

What do you think he’d do? Because that determines what will happen next. 

That’s all for this week. Enjoy!